“That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.” – John Green
Although this is true, we often try our hardest to bury our pain. Pretending to be okay is second nature. But how will it affect you in the long run? Well, allow me to provide some insight.
I was listening to the song “Jealous” by Labrinth, the other day. I sat there and really took in the lyrics. “I wished you the best of all this world could give. And I told you, when you left me, there’s nothing to forgive. But I always thought you’d come back…tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery. It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me.” These words broke me, and I thought what a vulnerable state of mind that is to be in. To stop pretending that someone or something didn’t hurt you. To stop pretending that you don’t care, and truly admit, what it is you feel.
I struggle with facing my feelings on a regular basis, but I had to look in the mirror and give myself some tough love. And I will share that with you. It’s time to face your pain, however that may look! Maybe you’re jealous. Maybe you’re angry, or extremely heartbroken. Or all of the above. Do you need to cry? Do you need to talk to a counselor? Do you need to talk to God, and really listen this time? Do you need to apologize? Do you need to forgive someone, even if they didn’t ask for it? Do you need to be honest with someone, even with yourself? There’s no recovery before these things happen.
Building on a Faulty Foundation
As hard as we may try to bury the trash, even if it’s not visible, it’ll start to stink! If you’re not willing to break down something that is faulty, nothing you build on that foundation will ever stand for long. I’m not saying to sulk in your misery or act on your anger, jealousy, or frustration. I’m saying, stop burying your pain and acting like you’re okay just for other people’s sake.
Take time to grieve that relationship or hurtful situation, to have a few emotional breakdowns, to heal from the hurt, and to find you and truly understand how to move forward. True strength isn’t defined by your ability to cover your pain. It is defined by the way you deal with your pain. Dealing with it means you MUST face it. You MUST feel it. And you MUST be patient. You won’t feel better overnight. But you will be stronger, every day you choose to face your feelings in a healthy way.